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Love is a Pursuit

Love is a pursuit. The ultimate example of love comes from our Heavenly Father and His daily pursuit of us. Christ never gives up on us, and He never stops loving us. His love is diligent, intentional, and eternal.

apex anthologies

Love is a pursuit. The ultimate example of love comes from our Heavenly Father and His daily pursuit of us. Christ never gives up on us, and He never stops loving us. His love is diligent, intentional, and eternal.

This story of love rings true to Dan Shafer and Katie Moore in more ways than one. Dan and Katie met at Wright State University in 2012 while taking accounting classes. Dan is from Cleveland and came to Wright State to run track. He was also involved in the Campus Crusade ministry on campus. Katie is originally from Dayton and was involved in Younglife throughout college. Today they are a part of the Brooklyn and Queens house church in Kettering.

Dan and Katie started studying together during their sophomore year at Wright State. Throughout the year Dan prayed intentionally about his feelings for Katie and what their relationship looked like to him. Dan knew how he felt about Katie, but deep down Katie struggled with trust. Dan continued to pursue her and love her as a  sister in Christ, and they finally started dating in the spring of 2013.

That summer Katie and Dan graduated from Wright State. Katie stayed in Dayton and Dan went home to Cleveland knowing that he would be back in the fall for graduate school. Dan and Katie struggled with distance and ultimately decided to break up. Through that summer Dan continued to trust God.

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When Dan came back to Dayton in the fall, the couple started talking again. One night after getting together to study, Katie finally opened up to Dan about her past and her struggle to trust in relationships. Dan came alongside Katie in some of her deepest pain and showed her that she could trust him and let him in.

Both Dan and Katie agree that God used the time they spent apart that summer to refine them and teach them about themselves before he brought them together again. They learned that God’s timing is always best. Even though Dan and Katie know they are different in certain ways, they have one important thing in common – their commitment to Christ, their vision for community, and their vision for their relationship.

After feeling God’s calling on their hearts leading them to take the next step in their relationship, Dan and Katie got engaged in the fall of 2014. Katie admits it took some time for her to get to the point where she was open and ready to think about marriage. She still struggled with trust, but she knew God had brought her and Dan together and that Dan was the perfect provision of a husband for her.

Since their engagement, Dan has continued to pursue Katie in new ways. In this new chapter of their lives, they have learned how to compromise, handle conflict, and be patient with one another, even with big decisions on the horizon. Katie says that Dan continues to point them back to Christ and that he loves her well, even in times of conflict.

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After meeting with Dan and Katie and hearing all about their story and how God brought them together in His perfect timing, I asked them a few additional questions. Here is what they said.

What does a healthy, godly pursuit of a relationship look like from a man’s perspective?

Dan: After experiencing a bad relationship freshman to sophomore year, I learned what it looked like to be genuinely intentional in a relationship. I knew the next time I dated I wanted to do things right – I wanted to pursue well and love like Christ loves. With Katie that meant being patient and trusting God’s timing. It also meant I had to continue pursuing her when she would try and push me away. I loved doing small things for her like bringing her Starbucks. Anything to make her day special!

What advice would you give single guys (and gals) who are thinking about dating?

Dan: You cannot be in a relationship for selfish reasons – it just won’t work. You need to love like God loves, be intentional, ask tough questions, invest in them and be patient with them. You need to love with grace and forgiveness. Katie and I took a love language test when we were dating so that we knew how to show each other love in the best way possible. You also need to be in the relationship with the intent of marrying at the end.

Katie: I think the most important thing to remember in a dating relationship is that the person you are dating should not be the one to make you happy. If that is how you go into a relationship you will have high expectations that will not be met. Also, I think it’s important to learn what it looks like to pursue a guy as a girl. With Dan I looked for areas where I could intentionally encourage and support him.

 

Author: Jacqueline Brown

Engagement photos taken by Sara Creason